Well where to start, firstly, I cannot quite believe that tomorrow is 2019. I can’t believe that a whole 365 days have gone and when I reflect back on the year, it has been truly spectacular on many levels and also a year of deep growth for me emotionally and mentally. I will share 6 of my biggest lessons with you.
Lesson One; Faith Over Fear – EVERY. FUCKING. TIME
Firstly, I gave birth to my third precious daughter. Of course, the birth of her and her entrance into the world was magical but there was so much more to this.
In all honesty, as much as I dream about having more kids, my business was growing and I predicted that having a child would radically affect that and that my business would somehow slow down in some way and I needed to be prepped for that.
I dreaded the sickness and migraines that I had suffered through my first two pregnancies, so this put me off having a third so quickly. Also, 2017, was the first year I had regained a level of freedom and independence since becoming a mother 4 years prior. I had overcome my anxiety of leaving the kids, I had gone to business retreats and seminars across the world and this was a HUGE thing for me as I never thought I would physically be able to leave my children having suffered such bad anxiety.
So having a third, I knew that for a few years, I would be tied down – which was totally fine- but I needed the mental prep for it. But, when I fell pregnant with Anira though, something radically different happened.
Firstly. I suffered NO sickness at all. Not even one day. Having spent so much for the first trimester hugging a toilet bowl or so elegantly puking on the sides of dual carriageways in pegnancy one and two, this was the best and most unexpected surprise.
Secondly NO migraines. WTF!! having suffered from these with the first two as well, I had become convinced, I must be having a BOY!! But surprise surprise, I was having another girl. I truly believe and attribute my incredible smooth and vomit free pregnancy to my diet change of becoming a vegan. It makes total sense that without all the hormones from meat and dairy inside me, that my body would be more balanced hormonally
I also made the decision, I would have a home birth. Considering, I had an epidural with Layla as I simply couldn’t cope with the pain, and with Safia, my 40 minute labor didn’t allow for any pain relief ( even though I was screaming for them to ” stick the fucking needle in” for the epidural) , I ended up having a very dramatic, very painful, very UN-CALM birth albeit the fact I had done it minus any pain relief. If you had told me a few years ago, that I WOULD CHOOSE a home birth with no pain relief, I would have laughed hysterically. It would have been INCOMPREHENSIBLE.
Truth be told, I was so proud of myself and decided to mentally push myself to manifest the perfect calm birth with Amira-Jasmine. I have never loved hospitals and my heart fancied the calmness of my house and also the idea that my kids could be asleep upstairs and wake up to a baby sister. Plus, it would be a huge achievement to make the decision to do this as naturally as possible.
I began listening to the calm baby method and visualizing a calm birth at home that was quick and easy and. I got exactly what I ordered! Although my biggest lesson was, I had never ever visualized giving birth in the pool I had bought!!!! And guess what, As I gave birth, I looked at the pool filled with water, that I never ever actually gone into because the midwives told me I wasn’t established enough and whhhoooooooaaa she just flew out of me on the sofa.
Funny, because, I just KNEW, this baby is coming and I didn’t trust myself to be bossy to the midwives. I guess I’ll have to have a 4th so I can do a pool with next!! LOL Huge lesson is trusting yourself.
Fear led me to procrastinate in having the baby, but faith is what I fucking teach and I should have had TOTAL faith I could manifest the perfect smooth pregnancy and the perfect homebirth. When I gave birth to Amira, there was a moment where I thought I was dying as I saw a bright white light come to me… I remember saying “I give up” and then recalled reading somewhere that these happens moments before the baby comes into the world.
I saw a healer after who told me, that on rare occasions, the mother will actually see the spirit entering her body!!! In the same way that people report seeing bright white light in death, the other can sometimes see the spiritual light of the baby entering her body. WOW. I saw it with Safia too. So the lesson, FAITH must come over fear, every fucking time. Aso trust me. the midwives didn’t know my body… I had done this before and I did.
As for my business growth and the baby. It has been hard at times and it wasn’t till the other day I looked at my bank accounts and saw I have made six-figures since she was born. Thsts six-figures into my account, not just contracted sales. Wow, I thought. I am so proud of myself and I had never set out to do this. My mantra is The Universe always gives me what I need to support my life the exact way I need it to.
Ok. so what is my second lesson in 2018.-Give Up Guilt. This comes down to my stepdad who sadly passed away in September this year. My stepdad passed away from terminal liver disease which resulted in him (we think) falling down the stairs and breaking his ribs and having a head injury due to liver failure.
My stepdad was an alcoholic and had suffered from an addiction to painkillers. Life had been quite difficult for myself and my family as we had dealt with an almost a decade of pain and ups and down, rehab visits, withdrawals, the pain of watching detoxes and the angst of dealing with with the emotional trauma of trying to keep our family together. Anyone who has gone through this will understand how draining this is. It was also infact, my desire to help my stepdad that was one of the catalysts of me becoming a coach.
3 years ago, my mum made the decision to divorce him and this year in January, we all ended up in court. I was on the witness stand testifying as part of the divorce financial dispute which was single handedly one of the most stressful days of this year- if not my life. I looked at my stepdad and I just felt anger, rage, sadness. Have you ever felt that way, where it comes over you and you almost feel out of control?
I said something pretty nasty to him in all my hurt. that’s was the last thing I ever said to him.
The truth is, we can all look back and wish and want to change the past We can always live with WHAT IF’s? and burden ourselves with guilt. But I chose not to. Because, In my heart, I had forgiven him and our relationship was so fraught in that moment. However, since his death, for the first time, we have remembered so many of the good times and it seems all the bad things have gone out of my mind and now all I think of is the happy times. Relationships are tricky mother fuckers. navigating relationships with people who are mentally unwell is a whole different ballpark.
Do I wish we could have left this physical world with all things rosy and merry? YES.
Do I wish I could take back what I said? YES. Can I? NO. So, this is life. It was a highly stressful day in court, I was 4 months pregnant and emotional.
Lesson. Always try, where possible to end with grace and let go of anger. Anger is like drinking poison from your own cup. But most importantly be kind to yourself. And give yourself permission to let go anything you cannot control.
Ok, lesson 3. dare to Dream really fucking big. This year I got my book deal. HOORAY. And not just any book deal, a book deal with one of the top publishers and on a list with an author I hugely love. I bet you have heard me share this a bazillion times before. I dared to dram but then I made it absofuckinglylutely non-negotiable to make it happen.
I invested in the right mentors and coaches. I attended events, I put myself out there despite the rejection. I took onboard critique, I kept editing my proposal. I wouldn’t take no for an answer. the decision was so final in my mind that there simply was no room for it not be a reality., that the Universe had no doubt what I wished for and it delivered. Lesson. DREAM. DECIDE. COMMIT.
My Book Just F*cking Do It will be out in Summer 2019!
But also, I learned that having people around you that believe in you (sometimes more than yourself) is crucial. You see, there is a lesson within this lesson. I almost took a book deal with someone else because they offered it to me FIRST. A huge mind, body, spirit publisher that have signed many incredible coaches. But, I wouldn’t have had a chance to get into the Sunday Times Bestseller list if I had gone with them. Also, Something in my gut said NO and my book agent truly believed that if I was patient and had faith, that something better would come along. Fear ALMOST led me to say yes, but a week later, I got another offer that was substantially higher and with a mainstream publisher. Big thank you to my amazing book agent who always knows best and believed in me more than I did at that moment. Angels can come in the form of abusive book witches Jessica Killingley 😉
Lesson 4. Profits over revenue. Since starting my businesses, I’ve noticed out there is a lot of hype of revenue and the money coming into our business. OF COURSE, this is fucking important as it shows how much value you are putting out in the world but when we focus all our energy on revenue, we don’t take away for the focus on profits. The Universe gives you what you focus on.
This year, I leaned down my business, became super-conscious over what I spent and ended up at the end of the year being told, I had one of the leanest business that my financial planner had ever seen. It is so fucking easy to get caught up in the vanity of the revenue. Yes, I want a million-pound business because yes I’d love to be a millionaire for a variety of reasons, but having a million-pound business that has no profits and leaves you stressed out ( I’ve seen this in way too many people ) is crazy town.
I now have an amazing financial team ( i have a bookkeeper, an accountant and a profit first professional and tax advisor) and it ner felt so EXPANDED around money. It has taken me three years in business to finally get my shit together with this all but the feeling is so fancy,
I have invested in a holiday home in Egypt, which I paid out in cash and second investment property in the UK which in two years time, will be remortgaged for 2 more properties. This is how you BUILD wealth and 7 figures. This is how I will get to my 7 figure net -worth by 35… yes, I will work hard over the next 2 years to make that happen, but I also have put the things in place to make sure it will happen. DECIDE. COMMIT. BE SMART.
Lesson 5. Friendships. I have made so many new incredible friends this year. I have also said goodbye and cut off from some. I ‘ve realized that as we get older, time and life gets in the way of friendships an and especially for me as a lot of my closest and oldest friends don’t live near me it’s harder. It is crucial to make TIME for these people. relationships are so important to me. creating memories, enjoying the company of others.. that to me is what life is about. But equally, its two-way thing, and you cannot always be the one making the effort. Sometimes I felt like I have to pester people to make plans and I will be letting go of this in 2019. I made a commitment to make an effort with loads of people this year and always try to go above and beyond in making sure that the people I care about know I am there and make an effort to socialize with them, but equally, they need to make the same.
I have also recognized that for me, after spending too much tie with people, I need TIMEOUT. I’m 86% extrovert and 14% introvert and that introverted person does come out..believe it or not. So making space for alone time for me is super important. This is often where I get my most creative bursts.
Also, I have made a commitment to be super protective of my energy in 2019 and only keep people in my life who are drama and agg free. Also, I’ve learned that my desire to be liked and accepted sometimes means, I say in circles of friends even if something in my gut says they aren’t right. I totally trust my own intuition and commit to loving myself enough that I let go of the needs to FIT in, be accepted. I also recognised that I still get triggered by ‘cliques’ as during school I never fit into any and this is something i will focus on moving past this year.
Lesson 6. That strategy will only get you so far.
I had some amazing mentors this year but I felt suffocated with all the voices in my head telling me to do different things that I STOPPED listening to my own gut.
I know how to build an online business very well and have made close to half a million myself. Investing in ANOTHER mentor is not going to help but will take away from my own intuitive ability.
So for various reasons, I have cut off all my business strategy mentors for the time – being and will only have coaching for mindset and invest in my spiritual growth and healing. This was a scary and difficult decision but my soul was shouting at me to do it.
When I need more business help, then I will get it, but trusting myself is my new commitment for 2019. By the way, if you are new to the business, then you should ALWAYS have a mentor and up until this point, I have invested over £100k in mentorship. I HIGHLY recommend that you start with some mentorship till you have the confidence to go test things out yourself. I would NOT be here today if it wasn’t for my coaches up until this point. I will be going back to soul and know that the right mentor will present him or herself when I am ready.
I wish you all an amazing 2019 and cannot wait to see what unfolds for you as well as me.
P.S. Whenever you’re ready… here are 3 ways I can help you transform your life and business.
1. .Join The Manifest Like A Mofo Facebook group And Watch The 7 Day Free Manifesting Challenge In The UNITS section.
2. Join The Game Changer Online program for new and aspiring coaches
If you would like to build your own successful six-figure coaching business then hit reply and put Game Changer in the subject line I’ll send you some more details.
3. Work with me privately
If you’d like to work directly with me to transform your mindset and help you build and scale your business.. just reply to this message and put “Private” in the subject line… tell me a little about your business and what you’d like to work on together, and I’ll get you all the details!