I wanted to share a story that I have very rarely shared beyond the confines of my best friend circle.

When I was 18 I kissed this boy in the Student Union to make my ex-boyfriend jealous. I know, I know, low move ( but it totes worked!) It happened on October 1st which makes it almost the anniversary over a decade ago. I remember it all in vivid detail. Why? Because that boy would end up being the object of my affection for the following few years.

He was one of those boys where you would have to act soul-destroyingly cool around, was impossible to ever get his full attention (because he was always busy) and earth-shatteringly handsome and charming. Oh, and he was barman so the added bonus of free drinks at his dad’s bar.

We got on SO well and he made me laugh and he made me cry and he was the type of guy that would make me nervous every time I saw him. LIke,’ I want to be sick all over the floor’ nervous.

This is a brief timeline of our relationship

Dated for 4 months and then he disappeared off the face of the planet leaving me confused.
5 months later we reunite ( YIPPEEEE!!!)
6 months after that, he finally asks me to be his girlfriend
1 year later, we break up. (BOOHO0)

I was devastated when I heard those words, ‘let’s take a break’, but I knew it was the right thing and the break ended up as a breakup and I wouldn’t see him for a following 5 years ( that’s a story for another time!)

The thing is, I needed to grow up and experience my life without being emotionally attached to someone who determined if I was happy or not. It was an emotional rollercoaster and I was sick from all the twists and turns and surprising loop the loops that left me feeling like an anxious wreck for most of that relationship. Let me get one thing straight here, he was a really good guy. We were very young, I just wanted way more than he could offer and my fear of rejection had dictated most of my actions.

The thing is breakups can do some pretty crazy crazy things to an already emotionally unstable 21 year old. I ended up going out on a bender with my BFF at the time. We got incredibly drunk (because that is what you do when you are 21 and heartbroken) and we then had a really great idea. I still had the key to my ex-boyfriend house (I lived with him) and so in our drunken state, we decide to go into his house.

He was out.

It was empty.

We went in, jumped on the bed giggling like crazy drunken fools and then we left.

I guess I just wanted a connection with him, a connection with my old life that was now a thing of the past.

The next morning I woke up with a hangover and a very angry phone call. I made a mistake. I had left my COAT in his room, so of course he sussed it out. I WANTED the world to swallow me whole and never return to me to existence again.

So why am I telling you this? Well, this week we have launched our amazing new program LAUNCH IT which helps women create an online course and how to launch it to the world, how to market it right to build your list of hungry buyers and sell your course to make 5k, 10k, or even 20k. Well, launching can be a bit of a break up if it doesn’t go the way you planned.

You invest your time, your energy, your money and then no one wants to buy your course and you are left feeling confused and rejected and trying to figure out where it went wrong. As I grew up, I started to realise there was a system to being in a successful and happy relationship just the same as there is a system to launching a program to the world.

A lot of women make the mistake of treating a launch like they are meeting a guy for the first time and then disappointed he won’t marry them.(FYI- That was me, !!!)

You need to NURTURE your list, go on a few metaphorical dates with hem before you make the proposal of marriage. So many people get the pre-launch wrong, get exhausted trying to please their clients and end up wondering why no one wants to get in bed with them.

Much love,